Hi, I’m Sally and I’m a Brisbane female personal trainer – and I think that BURPEES SUCK! Surprised?
Once upon a time a man got really high on life and invented the Burpee*.
His name, apparently, was Royal H. Burpee. He thought it was really fun and told all his mates about it. 80 years later, every PT and group fitness instructor dishes out burpees like they’re free hand sanitizer.
I used to be one of those PT’s. Thankfully, somewhere around the time I moved to Europe and discovered cheese, I changed.
Burpees make you want to cry and run away from your trainer into the arms (paws?) of a throng of golden retrievers.
So why do PT’s often press their clients to do them? Well, they’re a fantastic tool to build fitness, challenge yourself and get your heart rate up. You don’t need equipment or space and there’s no cost attached. It’s hard for me to say this, but burpees do actually have many positive points. The biggest negative? They’re so bloody hard!
Here are a few comments from clients about why burpees truly do suck –
- ‘My boobs get in the way!’ – Lesley P.
- ‘I feel like I’m going to throw up from all the bending.’ – Millie M.
- ‘Because they make me feel like shit.’ – Megan B.
- ‘They’re clunky and awkward.’– Courtney D.
Year after year I’d hear people lament when doing burpees – and rightly so! People would curse, expletives would be thrown (in several languages too as I used to take classes for international expats) and bargains would be made. Once a guy bargained me with cheese. He said he would send a cheese platter to my house the next day if he could get out of doing burpees. Sure enough, 24 hours later an array of delicious European cheeses arrived – heaven!
I’m a PT and I think BURPEES SUCK!
One day a client said to me ‘Burpees really suck’ and I voiced my agreement. We had a good bitch about burpees and she said she was surprised I’d agreed with her. As a fitness professional, I was supposed to say ‘Burpees are amazing let’s do them every day while we drink $9 kale juice!’ Instead, I voiced something we both felt but I ‘wasn’t supposed’ to say.
That’s the story of how my ‘Burpees Suck’ motto came to be.
The original burpee wasn’t actually as hard as the one you know and hate. There was no push up at the bottom and no jump at the top. You have the American military to thank for turning it into the devil’s asshole of an exercise we know and loathe today.
Do you think burpees suck? Why? I’d love to know in the comments!